Month: October 2018

I’ve described the difference between the advisor, coach, and mentor. I’ve also established that Jesus did all three and that all three are important in the disciple-making process. So what’s the big deal? Well, nothing unless you’ve experienced a mentoring relationship! Those of us who have been and had mentors know that it makes a huge difference in people’s Christ-like transformation. My whole purpose in writing these posts is to aggressively recruit you to become a mentor versus just an advisor or a coach. Let me give you three reasons why my hair is on fire about this.

 

1. Advice alone is not leading to life transformation.

 

Advisors are a dime a dozen. And I’m not talking about people giving bad advice. I’m talking about good advice! We have great folks preaching sermons, writing books (and blogs), making videos, and these pillars of sound direction will even sit down and have a cup of coffee with you (occasionally). But with all these Giants of Guidance giving a giant volume of advice, we still have a giant gap between the amount of information people know and what they are able and/or willing to do. Advice alone is not facilitating individual, corporate, or cultural change.  

 

2. Coaching alone is not enough relationship to sustain life transformation.

 

Although there are probably not as many coaches as advisors, it seems like everybody and their brother is training people in new methods of ministry. In fact, the landscape is so dense, that people roll their eyes when they hear about another program (including #NoPlaceLeft). But before I come down too hard on the coach, let me say again that coaching is essential. The problem comes when the coach is not vested in the trainee’s life and they hit obstacles that are not associated with the ministry skills being taught. People’s lives consist of much more than becoming competent and confident in ways to do ministry.

 

3. Mentoring is a holistic approach to the disciple’s life

 

A friend recently asked me this question; How do you cast vision? He rattled off some of the more conventional ways leaders try to lift up people’s eyes to stretch them toward a “kingdom” mentality versus a “me” mentality. My answer was anything but conventional. I said, “You have to walk with people in the vision in order for them to get it. And this is precisely what a mentor does with a mentee in virtually every area of life; they walk with them. They walk with them as they journey through the ups and downs of ministry, their personal relationship with Jesus, and even the mundane stuff of life. A mentor has agreed to lock arms with you and “do life” together. I like what Amos says;

 

Two people will not walk together unless they have agreed to do so.

(Amos 3.3)

 

It’s that simple. You, the mentor, have agreed to walk with someone for the purpose of discipleship.

 

Now that I have you signing the dotted line in blood, I want to spend the next few blog posts describing some key principles for mentoring using the Bull’s Eye Illustration.

Call to Action: Who have you agreed to walk with? Do they know that your objective is to help them become conformed to the image of Christ? Ask them what that means to them.

 

A Blast from the Past: A DISCIPLE OPENLY IDENTIFIES WITH CHRIST

Was Jesus an advisor, coach, or a mentor?

The answer, Yes! He wore all three hats.

Jesus was an advisor. Now this one’s a little tricky. Generally, when we think of an advisor we think of one who gives guidance and it’s optional to follow it. Here’s how Google defines advice;

“Guidance or recommendations concerning prudent future action, typically given by someone regarded as knowledgeable or authoritative.”

Can you think of anyone more knowledgeable or authoritative than Jesus?  If He gave guidance, wouldn’t you eagerly embrace whatever He said? But He didn’t give recommendations or suggestions. His advice was always true, right, and with God’s glory at the forefront. Of course, there were those who didn’t take his advice and they paid dearly for their lack of judgment. What do you do when someone’s guidance is 100% accurate 100% of the time? You take their advice! But as authoritative as Jesus is, you still have a choice.

But Jesus was also a coach? Remember the 70? They weren’t as close as the 12 but He trained them in ministry skills nonetheless. He sent them out to search for the person of peace and even debriefed them when they returned. Of course, He did the same with the 12 but here’s the difference; He didn’t spend near as much time with the 70 as He did with the 12. This is the clarifying difference in my definition between coach and mentor. The 70 were close enough to Jesus to see Him modeled the skills, assist and watch them as they practiced the skills, and then launched them to perform the skills on their own. So Jesus’ example of coaching is evidence you can train disciples in ministry skills without being their mentor.

Now when it comes to the 12, He was clearly a mentor. Jesus was involved with every aspect of their life.  He instructed, encouraged, exhorted, and rebuked them as needed. When you consider the sheer amount of time they spent together, there is little doubt Jesus knew them well and He loved them extravagantly. He was always asking them great questions. He was patient with their weaknesses. He protected them like a good shepherd. He healed their family members. He covered them with the Word and was committed to them until the end. And ultimately, He was their perfect example. He was their pathfinder leading the way on how to walk with God. No one was closer to Jesus and got more tailored instruction than the 12.

Here’s the kicker. Every disciple has the opportunity to have Jesus as their advisor, coach and/or mentor because of the indwelling Holy Spirit. So let me ask this question; “Do we want Jesus to just give us advise? Or do we just want Him to coach us on ministry skills? Or do we want Him to be involved in the whole of our lives as our mentor?” It’s our choice.

Call to Action: Spend some time in prayer asking Jesus for guidance, coaching, and mentoring. Read through the Gospel of Luke and identify the three hats that Jesus wore.

A Blast from the Past: Don’t Be a Ministry Hog

 

Quote: https://www.christianitytoday.com/pastors/2000/spring/how-to-be-an-effective-mentor.html

I’m feeling a little guilty. I’ve been allowing people to call me their mentor when really I was more of a coach or advisor.

What’s the difference?

*Advisors

An advisor gives advice. It’s periodic. There’s no requirement for the advisor to understand much beyond the particular problem presented by the advisee. We need advisors but let’s not confuse them with mentors.

Coaches

A coach is someone who helps a disciple with a particular set of skills. And just like a baseball coach, they focus on the skills we need to succeed. After practice or a game, they go their separate ways to live their separate lives. Needed? Yes! Mentor? No!

Mentors

A mentor, on the other hand, is quite a different animal. Yes, they are a combination of advisor and coach but he or she is a whole lot more. They are spiritual leaders who watch over your soul (Heb 13.17). They concern themselves with the whole of your life. It’s one of the heaviest and most rewarding responsibilities a disciple maker can ever be given. I have a lot to say when it comes to describing a mentor, but the bottom line is that they love you intensely, know you thoroughly, and can effectively help you become more like Jesus. This is quite a bit more than giving advice or teaching ministry skills.

But here’s the problem. As much as we need mentors of this caliber in our lives, they are rare. Part of the reason they are so few is that a lot of disciples have never had a mentor themselves and don’t even know where to begin. Another issue is that mentors often take on too many mentees and lose their potency (guilty!). No one wants to be the guy to hold someone back in their development, so saying no is gut-wrenching. On the other hand, if you don’t say no, you rob those you are already leading. Smart mentors limit the number of people they work with in order to be effective.

Some of you may be wondering, “With the bar so high, how can I ever be a mentor?” Everyone has to start somewhere, and mentoring is a learned skill just like anything else. Hopefully, you have a good mentor, and you can follow their example. But many of you don’t and will have to do a little OJT (On the Job Training). Realistically, I only have the capacity to mentor 5-8 people. So, I’m going to put on my advisor’s hat and write for a while on what it means to be a mentor. Hopefully, this advisor can get a few more mentors in the fight.

*My definitions.

Call to Action: Make a list of people you think you can mentor. Begin praying through how you will begin the relationship. If you can’t think of anyone, begin praying that God will give you someone.

Blast from the Past: My First Mentor

Barna Quote: https://www.barna.com/research/5-reasons-millennials-stay-connected-to-church/